Intercultural Romancing

Intercultural communication is admittedly a very strong point when it comes to intercultural romancing. The language and communication styles between the two people are going to be very different, and it is important to have the genuine desire to learn about the other party’s language and culture in order for the relationship to work out. 

It is a known fact that Asians have a high context culture, meaning they tend to be more subtle, polite, and not so expressive. Westerners and Europeans, on the other hand, have a low context culture; they are more outspoken, explicit and unambiguous in their thoughts. These are just some of the differences when it comes to the different cultural values.

The body language is also a very important factor. Even if the couple speak the same dominant language, misunderstandings can still occur when the body language or tone is percieved incorrectly. For example, people make intermittent eye contact in Western cultures, and it represents trust and interest. In Asia, prolonged eye contact will be seen as an act of rudeness and an invasion of privacy.

So, it is important to remember that we are all different, but sometimes, what may seem too different could be exactly what you were looking for.

 

Differences between the Asian and Western Culture

I think that the biggest difference between Asian and Western cultures could be described in one word – FAMILY.

The Asian culture places a lot of emphasis on family. The elderly members are revered and treated with a lot of respect. Not to say that they do not show respect to their elderly at all in the Western culture, the difference in that aspect is just significantly lesser. Asians would consider their actions and ponder if those actions would bring honor or shame to the family or country, as Asian cultures tend to focus on a group as a whole, while the Western cultures tend to be more individualistic. 

The thing about the Western culture is that they are heavily influenced by the idea of personal identity, individualism and uniqueness. They are also more open minded and less conservative in general. That may be one of the reasons why most Western children would want to move away from their homes to study, or to make their own lives in a new city or town; possibly to forge a new identity or purpose for themselves. The concept of keeping the family together is much stronger in the Asian society. The children tend to stay with their parents till they get married and start their own families, though in some cases, they do not move out at all.

Although there are similarities in other aspects in regards to the different cultures, there are a significant amount of differences as well. The cultural difference in family ties just happens to be the one that stands out the most.

Whats the real deal with gangs?

 

The definition the police used when it came to the word ‘gang’, was that it refers to a group of individuals, juvenile or adult, who associate on a continuous basis, form an allegiance for a common purpose, and are involved in delinquent or criminal activity.

What are the other reasons people come together and form a gang? Most of us would say that it is due to cowardice, the need for attention, the need for protection, for the sense of security, for power and so on. They might not even know one another on a personal level, they might just be hanging out together due to intrigue, or having this need to prove their allegiance to a certain person, people or cause.

A gang is a gang because they have certain group dynamics that seperates them from a random collection of individuals. They interact and in turn, influence each other. This stems from the need to belong, as well as the process of development and interacting.

So, what are some of the other reasons certain people join gangs? There are a couple, but not all of them serve the same purposes. Most of the time, it depends on what the particular gang does.

There are a few different types of gangs that I can think of right now:

1) Scavenger Gangs: Usually trouble makers, commonly found in neighbourhoods. They join gangs because they think it is ‘cool’ and for the intimidation factor.

2) Territorial Gangs: They form a gang with the purpose of protecting their block, neighbourhood or city. Mostly, they join for respect.

3) Hardcore Gangs: Their main objectives are to make money and kill off rival gangs. They crave power.

 Somehow or other, I can only think of one good enough reason people would want to join gangs, and that reason would be simply.. fear. If an individual yearns to feel like he or she belongs, it doesn’t have to be to belong to a gang.  That is just an excuse.

Roots of relationship failure.

Relationships fail, that’s just part of the natural ebb and flow of life. Unhappy, unhealthy relationships have some general characteristics in common. These characteristics consists of (but not limited to);

Lack of Communication: Communication has to be a two-way thing, and it spans far beyond mere spoken words. It’s not only verbal, it’s also mental as well as physical. One must be able and willing to convey their thoughts and feelings to their respective partner, and at the same time, be willing to absorb and understand their partner’s thoughts and emotions. Couples should know that listening is probably a lot more important than just talking when it comes to communicating. In order for both parties to grow and learn from the relationship, you should voice your most honest emotions and opinions, but at the same time, really listen to your partner’s emotions and opinions as well and take them into consideration.

Restrictions/Limitations: It could be in the form of curfews implemented by strict parents. This limits the amount of time available for a couple to spend the much needed quality time together, or it could possibly prevent them from being there for one another physically in times of need. The limitations could be due to the fact that the two parties involved are experiencing long distance relationships. There is a lack of physical presence that is very crucial in maintaining a relationship for there is only so much you can do through virtual means.  

Lack of Trust: When one party doesn’t trust the other enough, he or she will constantly question the other person’s motives and emotions. Such behaviour will only damage the relationship because a lack of trust means that you are insecure about the relationship and being insecured means that you will be highly incapable of truly loving your partner, because to really love someone, you have got to give your entire heart.

Compatibility Issues: There is this saying, “Opposites attract”, but I think it may not necessarily be true when it comes to relationships, because relationships are mostly about getting our needs met, and being with someone who shares the same interests as we do for the most part. It is also crucial to be with someone who complements your character instead of suppressing it. Your partner should complete you.

Accomodation/Compromising: Accomodation is a form of respect and tolerance. If two people in a relationship are not willing to accomodate one another, then any forms of argument will lead to nowhere. If one party is constantly trying to accomodate and compromise while the other is not, it will just put an unnecessary strain on the former, and gradually, the relationship will still suffer. Just like how it takes two to clap, it will take both parties to compromise and accomodate to make a relationship work despite all the arguments.

It takes a long time to build a relationship but it does not take long to destroy it. The most important thing is to realize the cycle of the relationship failure and do something about it as a couple.

Eye Colour Psychology – Oh, really?

The reason everyone insists that the ‘eyes are the mirror of our souls’ is because eye contact can indicate interest, attention, and involvement. Above all, the eyes are capable of forming an eloquent expression of what we really feel on the inside, and what is truly going on inside of our heads. The eyes don’t lie, it’s virtually impossible to lie through body language.

Recently though, I happen to come across this theory insinuating that we can guage the inner character of someone, simply by noticing their eye colour. This was what was mentioned:

Deep Blue – Indicates that the person is highly sexual, gentle and sensitive.
Deep Green – Individual is highly energized and inventive. They are also seen to be intelligent.
Grey – Indicates intelligence and a rich imagination.
Black/Raven – Individuals are strong-willed and interesting.

Oh, it gets more interesting than this:

Evenly-set Eyes – They have a balanced judgment and a clear view of the world.
Closely-set Eyes -Individuals tend to be overly dependent and do not deal well with stress.
Deepset Eyes – Someone with an intense, possessive yet observant nature.
Sleepy Eyes – People with a strong sexual desire. Also prone to laziness or despondency.

Its interesting isn’t it, how people come up with such theories based on their observations and their preconceived knowledge of individuals simply by depending on physical attributes. I feel that this is simply an attempt to explain certain ‘observations’ that may or may not have any basis of truth in it because some of us just have to have answers for everything.

Hitler had deep-blue eyes. Gentle and sensitive? I don’t think so.

Adolf Hitler – Undoubtedly one of the best communicators to date.

When Adolf Hitler comes to mind, we think brutal, antagonist, socialist, insanity etc. What can also be said about this sinister man in question, unfortunately, is that he was a really charismatic, persuasive and prolific verbal communicator. It is safe to say that he is, in fact, one of the best practitioners of effective communication up till this point.

It is somewhat unsettling, but just by utilizing his passion and effective communication skills, he managed to get the whole of germany to hang on to his every word and do as he pleased.

As we can see from the video, Hitler was really passionate about his cause, and it showed in every one of his various public speeches. He made full use of the body language as well, aggressive facial expressions and generous gestures of the hands. I see Hitler deliver his speech and it reminds me of a stage performer; who is dramatic and eloquent enough to capture everyone’s attention and create just about the right amount of intensity and excitement in the air. It leaves people wanting more and more. Due to the fact that he came off so convincing and confident, it’s no wonder Germany believed him to be the one who would lead them all to glory.

After all that’s said and done though, still.. damn him.

Racism – It’s all in the mind… or media?

Racism; the weird belief some people have that race determines one’s social standing and traits. That’s something  that has been a major issue since way back. Although it may be true that the level of racism has dropped significantly over the years, it is still very much a cause for concern. 

The question here is, does the media have anything to do with it?

Racism is not ingrained into our psyches; none of us were born racist. We were all taught or influenced to dislike/ostracise those of different traits or skin colour because being humans, we are easily influenced by psychologial and social factors. That’s how we come up with different concepts and perceptions of those unlike ourselves, which may not necessarily have any amount of truth in it whatsoever.

Please take a look at the following videos:

And I thought we were supposed to be all about curbing racism.

As we can see here, the media reinforces racism acts or slangs through coverages and portrayals in commercials, movies  and even in the news. That’s where even more perceptual errors and stereotypes will stem from.  How do we stop racism in general if we are exposed to such things on a regular basis? The media has such massive channeling effects, and us, being their target audience, should choose to be active and not passive about what we choose to listen or believe in.

Let’s end things on a lighter note, with a more positive message.

Stop racism people, or they will haunt your dreams!